You’ve been in this situation before. You’re about to go to some sort of networking event. There are going to be some awesome people and opportunities you want to catch. You get nervous. You’re anxious. You almost back out but you don’t. “I can do this, I can do this,” you chant to yourself.
You arrive and for the next two hours, you are a total wallflower. You leave, tail between your legs, kicking yourself in the ass for not taking advantage of the event.
This applies to speaking events. Art festivals. Job interviews.
It’s important, you don’t want to fuck it up, and that’s precisely why you freeze up and do terribly.
Over 3 years, I’ve honed a routine that always helps me kick ass, collect awesome leads and opportunities, and leave at least a DECENT (but most of the time, it’s pretty damn good) impression on people you’ll see there:
1. Wake up early. EARLY! Give yourself time to slowly wake up and get ready and eat breakfast. Put on an outfit that makes you feel AWESOME and invincible.
2. Craft a very short “intro” for yourself. People will inevitably ask “What do you do?” or “What brings you here?” Be very brief and concise! You can mention your occupation, your side projects, or your current pursuits. Three variations:
“Hi, I’m Havana! [What do you do, Havana?] I’m a recent graduate looking for a marketing position at a small-to-midsized company in media or tech. It’s broad, but I’m openminded right now.”
“Hi, I’m Havana! [What do you do, Havana?] I’m currently working on an animated post-apocalyptic sci-fi and my team and I are trying to pitch it to networks this year.”
“Hi, I’m Havana! [What do you do, Havana?] I’m a recent grad who is shopping around for a job in marketing for a small company that deals with tech or media. For the time being, I’m working on a supernatural graphic novel set in Afghanistan.”
These answers are short and they give a tiny peek at what I’m working on AND it gives easy talking points for the other person to work with.
Also: DON’T RAMBLE ABOUT YOURSELF. More importantly, don’t focus on ONLY yourself or your needs, either. I would also like to add don’t obnoxiously brag about yourself but that might be asking for too much.
3. Come up with 3 “emergency” conversation boosters. It is inevitable that you’ll stumble upon a conversation that stalls at one point to the much-dreaded awkward pause. Don’t be too frightened by them; it happens to literally everyone at some point. That’s where you can jump in with a pre-planned conversation reviver. Some ideas:
“So how long have you been working with your company/business? What’d you do before that?”
“So what is one project you’re excited to be working on right now?”
“How exactly did you hear about this event?”
Don’t worry about coming off as an idiot; people are usually quietly thankful if you save them from the awkward pause. Plus, you can learn more about the person! Hurrah!
4. Gather talking points. Read up on relevant headlines for the event. If it’s a panel on current interactive marketing campaigns best and worst practices, skim over Mashable for a bit. If it’s a mixer-plus-lecture on the current Palestinian bid for statehood, read 1-2 articles or op-eds on Al Jazeera. This will give you more conversation ammo and get your head “in the zone” before the even even starts.
Now, if it’s an interview or a very important one-on-one meeting, construct different talking points based on what you WANT to talk about. List 3 quick bullet points/examples or anecdotes about your greatest strengths or accomplishment so they come easily for you in an interview or culminate, through research, 3 deep and provoking questions for the person you’re meeting with. It’s important to research them because you don’t want to simply get information you could get through a simple Google search. Instead, ask them to elaborate on something you’ve read about them.
5. If you’ve gotta drink coffee, DRINK IT HELLA EARLY! Bad breath can make you repellent at an event and you don’t want something like that to get in the way of creating connections and opportunity for yourself. Drink it early and either brush your teeth, gargle mouthwash, drink tons of water and a handful of Altoids, or WHATEVER, make sure that at LEAST your hygiene makes you bearable to be around.
And if they serve coffee at the event, for the love of God, don’t take it!
Alternatively, drink some strong black tea, a 5 Hour Energy, or an energy drink if you really need the pep.
6. Do vocal exercises and then rock out to music real loud on the way there. Yep. When I get in the car, I either practice my interview answers or introduction (you can do this before you drive out, too). This allows me to know what the words sound like out of my mouth and reduce the “umms” when I actually deliver it. I also do vocal exercises to warm up my voice and add variety and enthusiasm in it later.
Blast high energy music that pumps you up so that you are filled with awesome-not-anxious energy for the event. I always pump up “Born This Way” or “Marry the Night” by Lady Gaga myself. :) Don’t be afraid to sing and dance in the car. You WILL look a fool but you’ll animate yourself and give yourself a lot more pep.
BONUS: spark up a convo w anyone and everyone you see on the way. If you’re stopping by Starbucks, ask your barista how she’s doing. If you have to stop by the store to grab a lint roller, spark up a conversation with the cashier. Make eye contact, smile, and say “hi” to people you pass by. Do not think about it JUST DO IT. Who the hell cares, you won’t see these people again. This desensitizes you to sparking contact with strangers so the event won’t be so scary.
7. Arrive early. This will keep you from the feeling of overwhelm that you get when you walk into a FULL room. Talk to the few people scattered around and if you can, talk to the host or organizer. Make it seem like an innocent accident if you feel weird about it. At StartupRiot, arriving early helped me park a conversation with a guy I met with last year. I asked him for some advice on talking to recruiters since it was my first StartupRiot. Not only did his insight empower me and help me the rest of the event, I made a great impression on him as someone who takes initiative and now, I have an interview with his company in early March! That’s how it’s done, son.
At another meetup, I also used my early arrival as an excuse to help out with the setup so that I could meet other event organizers. I’ve even helped them greet guests as they entered. Suddenly, I am making an impression on a majority of the people who are there.
8. After the first 15 minutes, just step aside and evaluate yourself real quick. What’s working right now? What’s not? Maybe you need to trim your intro. Maybe you need to mention another project bc it doesn’t seem like your intro is getting any interested response.
For example, I changed:
“I’m Havana! I’m a recent graduate who spent the last 3 years building her own design business. I love tech and worked with a lot of people who were also into technology and interactive media. Last year, I interned at an advertising company and helped them with their market research. Right now, I’m just working on a couple of personal projects and shopping around for a position in marketing for a small company that values entrepreneurship. I saw that you were hiring for a marketing position, can you tell me more about it?”
Augh. What the hell was I rambling on about?! I could tell I was jamming too much info at them. I changed around my intro:
“I’m Havana! I’m a recent graduate who spent the last 3 years building her own design business. I found that I really enjoyed developing marketing campaigns for my business and my clients. I’m shopping for a marketing position in a small company that needs entrepreneurial people and I saw you guys were hiring for one. Can you tell me more about it?”
It’s not MUCH shorter but it’s at least more focused.
If it’s hard to get started with conversations, start talking to fellow wallflowers. They are guests as well and not only will you break out of your own shyness, you’ll help other people too!
And on that note, focus on helping other people instead of “What can this person do for me?”
9. Slow down and try to have fun with it. People respond more to energy and enthusiasm than anything else, I’ve found. Don’t take everything so seriously, learnlearnlearn from the people there, and take comfort in having a prepared list of talking points.
I could speak more about the actual process of networking itself but I’ll save that for later if folks are interested. This is MY personal routine to prepare for events and it’s been tried-and-true. I hope it’ll work for other people too.
And remember:
